I hate the colour mauve.

So once again we took to the field on Saturday. With our heads held high, optimistic of what could be achieved in the next 80 mins. After our good, if somewhat wasteful performance last Saturday against Orpington, I felt we had a lot to prove… to ourselves more than anything else. Again and again I say it; at times we are capable of the most wonderful, fluid, attacking rugby that has ever been played in the Kent Met Rugby’s Conference League. As breathtaking as wild west coast of Ireland, where the mighty Atlantic Ocean batters the jagged edge of that sparse, lonely landscape. As awe-inspiring as the sound of a thousand voices singing “O Fortuna” from Orf’s brutally powerful musical explosion, Carmina Burana. As graceful and as sleek as the great Rudolf Nureyev’s memorable performance of “Poeme Tragique” at the Royal Academy of Dance in 1961.

On this day, potentially the last day Ryan Chislett will ever wear the blue and white stipes of ‘Combe, we felt it appropriate that he lead the team. George wore a pair of memorial socks in his honour and Lawrence Morgan broke down in tears during the pre-match speech**. We wish Ryan well in his department store in Chicago.

To be honest I slightly dreaded writing this match report hence it tardiness. This is mostly due to the fact that we had a number of disagreements with a certain man wearing a certain mauve coloured garment on the day. Not being one who typically likes to criticize men in mauve, I will say only this... It wasn’t his best day. I will not go into detail for fear of making my criticism of mauve coloured shirt wearing men more frequent.

We have showed great consistency in being inconsistent this year. When we are focused, we play fast, attacking rugby. The kind of rugby Hitler would have appreciated. Blitzkrieg! Move the ball quickly. Where possible off-load it. Attack the inside shoulder. We scored some splendid tries, including two debut tries. One from Miles Westbrook and another from a debutant Billy Black. Reece Conlon, another debutant on the day, also contributed handsomely and both he and Billy could have great careers in Gents rugby if they stay focused – Remember lads, the key is to drink excessively, eat burgers and kebabs and lose any remnant of fitness you currently possess.

Another disappointing day at the office but at least Shoots’ managed to get a side out for the first time this season. We look forward to seeing them over at our gaff later in the season.

Next week we’re away to Park House. We had a couple of tough fixtures against them last year and very much look forward to the same again this year. Rumors abound that Biffo and Robbo are considering donning their old WCP shirts again and taking to the field. I very much hope so but I won’t hold my breath.

See you all on Saturday and once again, we wish you well Ryan. I hope you make a great success of it. The last thing I want to see is your mug showing up, looking for a game in six months time. We have too many hookers at WCP already. One only had to be in the bar at 8 o’clock on Saturday to see that.

*Fugu – For the gastronomically challenged amongst you, Fugu is sushi prepared from the meat of pufferfish (normally species of genusTakifugu, Lagocephalus, or Sphoeroides), or porcupinefish of the genus Diodon. It can be lethally poisonous if prepared incorrectly. It is believed to be responsible for approximately 2-4 deaths in Japan every year.

**My favourite Ryan quote ever - “Not meaning to be negative but that was the worst half of rugby I have ever seen.”